Mental Health, Personal Blog

What I wish I knew a year ago about my body

I have struggled with my weight for almost 12 years now. For the past 12 years I have not taken care of my body the way I should have. I have had two babies and there are so many different diets and weight loss programs. I am not even sure where to begin. I finally had enough of feeling uncomfortable in my own skin that I went to go talk to my doctor. We did some investigating to find out why I was gaining weight and I found out that all the side effects for my medications cause weight gain. I also have PCOS which one of the main side effects is weight gain and obesisty. My doctor decided that giving me some medicine to help me lose some weight would be beneifical. I began taking it in March 2018 I had also stopped drinking soda, fast food and quit eating chocolate which were my biggest addictions. By May 2018 when I quit taking the medication I had lost close to 30 pounds. The medicine was an appetite suppressant and it worked very well. I actually had to force myself to eat because I had zero appetite.
 
I know I am not alone in this struggle with weight loss. It’s definitely a struggle and a very common one. There are so many “fads” and do they actually work? We could spend all this money on trying programs like Herbalife, ItWorks, Slim4Life, or Weight Watcher. As soon as you stop the program you gain all the weight you may have lost back. Also those programs are usually expensive, even when they say they are “cheap”.  Then there are diet fads such as keto, gluten free, vegan, and Mediterranean diets. I have tried many of these and the weight loss medication has been the only thing to help.
 
I haven’t been on this medication since May. It’s now December and while I have gained 12 pounds back, I also started drinking soda again and eating chocolate. I’ve been doing everything I used to do and I  cant continue to let that be my lifestyle if I want to feel better about myself. There was a point in my life when I wasn’t my heaviest that I wanted to join a gym but I was so scared of being judged that I couldn’t make myself go. I refused to shop except for comfy clothes because I hated the way I felt in clothes and it affected my self-esteem. Society today expects you to look and act a certain way and that is not okay. You should be able to look exactly how you want and wear what you want without the fear of being judged.
 
While I am on this rant of woman and society. I had a man tell me that I’m a girl and that I’m not supposed to cuss and shouldn’t work an overnight job because it’s dangerous. He said “cussing isn’t lady like” well neither is a man being rude to a woman but here we are. I have had friends who were in relationships with “men” who would not go out in public with her unless she dolled up from head to toe. “You can’t accept me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my best.”
 
I am going to start out this new year accepting who I am and loving me for me. Yes I am working on my weight so I can live a healthier life for myself and for my kids. So this next years moto is F.L.Y. (First Love Yourself). You will see monthly posts with my weight loss journey and development posts on loving myself this coming year.
 
Remember you are loved and don’t let anyone else tell you otherwise. You are important and if you need a support system you have one in me! ❤
 
Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to this picture. I am not a medical professional, if you are having a medical emergency please contact 911 immediately. This post is for informational purposes only. If you believe you have a medical issue contact your local medical provider.

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