February has come and gone

This month has flown by and has been crazy busy. I have so much to be thankful for this month. We have moved into a new home which was fun to do between snow storms. I am thankful for our amazing friends and family who helped us. My handsome boy turned 9 years old when I am unsure how it’s possible that he could already be 9!
This winter has been crazy and has lasted way to long. I am ready for spring time! But until mother nature decides she’s ready to warm up we will stay inside where it’s warm. I am looking forward to another month of writing and expanding my blog even more!

 

 

Disclaimer: I don’t own the rights to this picture. I am not a medical professional. If you are having a medical emergency contact 911 immediately. This blog is for informational purposes only. If you believe you may have a medical issue contact your local medical provider.

Black Sheep

I’ve always been the one who didn’t fit in with the rest of my family. I wasn’t big into sports like my other siblings. I played but I wasn’t competitively into them like they were. My hobbies were music, acting and dancing. I loved dancing which I did for many years. When I started high school that is when I began my love for drama club and singing. I have always been the kid to do everything in life backwards. Growing up in a catholic family, we were expected to act and behave a certain way. Going through my life lets say I didn’t behave the way my family expected me too.
When I graduated high school I moved in with two of my best friends, I started college and I was loving every minute of it. After one semester of college I didn’t return. About 4 months after moving in with my friends we moved out and I moved in with my boyfriend. I wont lie my family tried everything to get me to move back home and I wouldn’t. So the car given to me was taken away, my financial way through college was also taken away. When I turned 18 I went out and got a tattoo, and was piercing parts of my body that “wasn’t normal”. Then shortly before I turned 21 I would find out that I was pregnant outside of marriage. I would say that my family wasn’t happy with my life decisions.

Throughout the years I’ve had many ups and downs with my family. To this day still don’t have much of a relationship with any of my family members. I am definitely the “black sheep”. Over the years I struggled with not having that relationship with my family. About 6 years ago in 2013 I began Dalton. When he introduced me to his parents they immediately welcomed me into their home and their lives. Even during our times of separation I could always count on them to be there for me. I am beyond thankful for his parents.

Over time I have began to realize that worrying about why someone chooses to not be apart of my life or my kids life was pointless. It wasn’t going to change the outcome. I generally only hear from my family for special events or holidays. This isn’t referring to my family but people in generally. How can someone not be a part of their kids or grand kids life? I understand if there was a legitimate reason but in my situation there is not. There are many people I know who don’t have relationships with family members because of one reason or another.

I became less likely to care about people making a effort to be apart of my life or my kids life when I had kids. Once my boys were out of their “newborn” phase the visits, phone calls and texts become way less and are now rare. For anyone reading this I no longer make a constant effort to involve people in my life. I have made it known to those that I would like for them to be apart of our lives and if they don’t make that effort back then it is on them. My kids and I know who are there for us and who isn’t. ❤

 

 

Disclaimer: I don’t own the rights to this picture. I am not a medical professional. If you are having a medical emergency contact 911 immediately. This blog is for informational purposes only. If you believe you may have a medical issue contact your local medical provider.

Talking about my depression

Have you ever had a million things going on or a mental list of things you need to get done? This is my brain all day every day. My brain gets so overwhelmed that I don’t know where to start. Did you know that chronic depression causes brain damage. Its hard to understand depression unless you have experienced it yourself. It’s a difficult mental illness. I know how I should think and behave but my brain drags me into the opposite direction. If you have never experienced depression consider yourself lucky. There are some things that I would like to share that I’ve learned can be helpful over the years.
Depression is very hard to talk about. Like I mentioned in a earlier post that I hate talking about my feelings and showing my emotions. I especially don’t like talking about my depression. On top of talking about my feelings, I feel like I can’t explain how and what I am feeling. I did find something that can help make a little sense of it all. Joy turns into lifelessness. Fears and anxieties become paralyzing. Sadness becomes mourning.
According to the National Institute of Mental Health 350 million people suffer from depression. But when I am depressed I feel all alone. Say you have a friend with depression and most everyone knows at least one person who has depression. If you have that friend and you want to talk to them but aren’t sure where to start here are some tips.

 

  • Let them know that your conversation is going to stay between the two of you.
  •  Ask me what you can do to help
  •  Let them know not to worry
  •  Let them know you care and that it’s an important conversation
  •  Be okay with silence for long periods during the conversation
  •  Be patient

 

Sometimes with depression you don’t want to talk, you want someone to be there. I am thankful that I have my friends and significant other who are always there for me. I am not depressed every single day. There are good day and there are bad days. Depression to me is summed up by me being exhausted during the day and not able to find the energy to get things done. At night I lay in bed wide awake stressed out over everything that I didn’t do during the day.
Just be willing to sit with someone in silence or let them talk if and when they are ready to talk about their depression. They will be forever thankful for you.
Disclaimer: I don’t own the rights to this picture. I am not a medical professional. If you are having a medical emergency contact 911 immediately. This blog is for informational purposes only. If you believe you may have a medical issue contact your local medical provider.

Communication in a relationship

One thing I hate most is talking about my problems, especially when it comes to my relationships. I have many theories about why I am that way. I guess the main reason is that I hate fighting and I hate expressing my feelings. I think that it stems from my childhood. Being bullied throughout grade school and high school. Also the fact that we never discussed our feelings in my family growing up. Even though I hate talking about my feelings, I am a very emotional person. I hate letting anyone see me cry or let them know they have upset me. This can cause a lot of problems when in a relationship. Communication is the key to a good healthy relationship. So how can I improve my communication skills?
• Stop and actually listen. When we are having a disagreement or even a conversation we need to stop and listen to what the other person has to say. If you are like me and get worked up over what someone may be saying its easy to interrupt and start talking.
• Force yourself to listen. I have to tell myself “Andrea shut up and listen to what he says to say”. I am always wanting to jump in as soon as I hear something I don’t like. I tend to give that person my opinion about what they had to say. I will get my turn to talk and say what I need to say if I be quiet and let them say what they need to.
• Be open and honest with your partner. This is so important. You know the saying “I’d rather be hurt by the truth then comforted by a lie”? This couldn’t be more true. I have been lied to many times over the years from friends and significant others. It isn’t worth losing someone over a stupid lie. Tell the truth. It may hurt someone’s feelings but they will always appreciate the truth rather than being lied too. The truth will always come out.
• Pay attention to your nonverbal signals. This one is a big one for me. I am very good at
reading nonverbal skills such as tone of voice and your body language. If your body language tells me that you are angry or shut off I tend to shut down. If your tone of voice is in any way angry or being demeaning I will also shut down because I can’t handle it . It messes with my anxiety.
• Stay focused. Its very easy to bring up past arguments. Staying focused on what it is your are having your discussion about currently. Don’t bring up the past because the past is the past and that is where it needs to stay.
• Cut your emotions when you have a big decision or talk to have. Easier said that done right? I still am not sure how to do this because like I said I am a very emotional person. I am good though at choking back the tears until I am alone.
• Communicating is more than talking. Sometimes talking face to face either isn’t possible or is very hard to do if you are like me and have severe anxiety. You can also have discussions through texting or email. No this isn’t the ideal way to communicate but it is a option if need be.
There are also some ways that can hurt your relationship when it comes to communicating. As everything in life there are pro’s and con’s. Yelling at your partner is one of the biggest things you can do to hurt your relationship. If something has you worked up to the point that you are going to yell, try taking a break to calm down before talking again. If you aren’t able to talk face to face this is when texting or emailing would be helpful. Having a competitive attitude with your partner can be fun. When playing a board game or playing a game of basketball. It can cause problems with your significant other during an argument. A relationship is not a competition, there is no winner, you are in it together.
The most important step to remember is that relationships are about “we” no “me”. You both have to put in 100% dedication and effort for a relationship to work. there will be times where we aren’t 100% and that is why we have our significant other. Dalton has been by 100%. I have times where I am dealing with my depression and anxiety where I can’t give 100%. He has always been there to pick me up and help me any way possible. That is what a relationship is about and I am thankful to have him by my side.
Disclaimer: I don’t own the rights to this picture. i am not a medical professional. if you are having a medical emergency please contact 911 immediately. This blog is for informational purposes only. if you believe you may have a medical issue contact your local medical provider.
references: psychcentral.com

ADHD or just a kid?

Attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is a chronic condition that affects millions of children. It can also continue into your adult years. ADHD is a combination of problems like trouble concentrating, hyperactivity and impulsive behavior. ADHD is a genetic brain based syndrome. ADHD is caused by chemical, structural and connectivity differences in the brain.
The American Psychological Association outlined criteria required to be diagnosed with ADHD. Children who are 16 and under must show at least 6 symptoms in each category. Adults who are 17 and older must show at least 5 symptoms in each category. The categories include: inattention, hyperactivity and impulsivity.
• Inattention:
o Fails to give full attention to detail
o Has trouble holding attention on tasks
o Doesn’t seem to listen when spoken too
o Doesn’t follow instructions, loses focus, or becomes side tracked
o Trouble with organized activities
o Avoids tasks that need mental effort for a long period of time
o Loses necessary things
o Easily distracted
o Forgetful in daily activities
• Hyperactivity and impulsivity
o Fidgets, taps hands and feet
o Restlessness
o Talks excessively
o Trouble waiting turn
o Interrupts others
These conditions must also apply:
 Inattentive or hyperactivity-impulsive symptoms begin before 12 years old.
 Symptoms are present in 2 or more settings
 Symptoms interfere with school, work or social life
 Symptoms are not better explained by a mental disorder.
Who is at risk for ADHD? ADHD is more common in boys than in girls. Genes also play a role in your risk to develop ADHD. Exposure to toxins like lead during pregnancy or at a young age. Being born with low birth weight, or born prematurely may also play a role in your risk of developing ADHD. There is currently no cure for ADHD. With treatment with medications and therapy can help with symptoms and improve functioning.
There are some things we can do to help children with ADHD. Some helpful tips include:
 Keeping a routine
 Organize everyday items
 Being clear and consistent
 Give praise or rewards when rules are followed.
 Use homework and notebook organizers.
For adults with ADHD using these tips can help them:
 Keeping a routine
 Use a calendar for scheduling
 Use reminder notes
 Make lists
 Assign special places for important items
 Break down large tasks into more manageable tasks and steps.
Brayden was diagnosed with ADHD a few years ago. When he was diagnosed I didn’t feel like it was the right diagnosis. I felt like he was just being a boy. As he has gotten older the doctors were right. While he may be ADHD it doesn’t change how much we all love him. He is on medication which does make a huge difference. It helps him focus on things longer than he would if he wasn’t on his medications.
Disclaimer: I don’t own the rights to this picture. i am not a medical professional. if you are having a medical emergency please contact 911 immediately. This blog is for informational purposes only. if you believe you may have a medical issue contact your local medical provider.

 

references: http://www.add.org
www,nimh.nih.gov

 

The tingles of ASMR

Have you heard of ASMR? ASMR stands for Autonomous Sensory Meridan Response. A lot of people have heard of this after the super bowl which had a commercial featuring ASMR. While I have been using ASMR for a couple years now and its been so helpful in many aspects. Experiencing ASMR you will have a tingling sensation. That sensation begins at your scalp and moves down your spine. Not everyone can experience this sensation. It could be because you haven’t found your trigger yet or you can’t experience this sensation through ASMR. I remember experiencing this as a child, which obviously I had no clue why or what it was. I didn’t learn about ASMR till about 2-3 years ago when someone suggested it to me to help with my insomnia. I will be honest when I first looked into ASMR I thought it was weird. I didn’t know how this was going to help with my insomnia. Do you ever get the tingly feeling when someone plays with your hair? That is the feelings you get from ASMR. This has been divided down and better explained other than “tingles”.
• Autonomous – spontaneous, self-governing, with or without control
• Sensory – pertaining to the senses or sensation
• Meridian – signifying a peak, climax, or point of highest development
• Response – referring to an experience triggered by something external or internal
 
ASMR videos were made as a form of guided meditation. It has proven to help reduce stress levels and help with concentration. It is also known to help with insomnia by helping you relax to where you can fall asleep. I use ASMR so much I have a playlist on YouTube that just plays all night long. With ASMR there are so many different triggers, that you will end up going through different ones until you can find the trigger that works best for you. My favorite triggers that put me to sleep the fastest is the whisper videos or the hair dresser role plays. Other popular ones that actually don’t work for me is scratching or tapping videos unless its on a keyboard. Other triggers include role plays with doctors appointments, hair appointments, or facials. Concentrating on a task; some even say watching Bob Ross is a trigger for them.
I have listened to many different ASMR videos over the years until I found my triggers. I am always finding new triggers with new videos. I hope you can find your trigger and experience ASMR the way I have. I hope it will help you whether it be to wind down from a stressful day or needing help to put you to sleep. Some of my favorite YouTuber’s are “Water Whispers by Ilse” and “Gentle Whispering”. I am thankful for ASMR because it has helped me through so many nights where I would have not been able to sleep. If ASMR doesn’t work for you and you are having troubles sleeping or relaxing I hope you can find something that helps you! Much love ❤
Disclaimer: I don’t own the rights to this picture. I am not a medical professional. if you are having a medical emergency please contact 911 immediately. This blog is for informational purposes only. If you believe you may have a medical issue contact your local medical provider.

The chaos

These past 2 weeks have been crazy busy with packing, and moving. Now that we moved I have been busy with unpacking, organizing and cleaning. I can finally say we’re unpacked! I still have some organizing and decorating to do over the next few weeks. I missed writing these past two weeks and am ready to get going again.
I wont lie these past couple weeks have been full of ups and downs. I have silently been struggling with my depression again. We are leaving behind many memories good and bad. This was the home we brought Elijah home from the hospital so it was a bittersweet moment. I was glad to leave behind the bad memories of that home and move into a new home to make new memories. Even with all the excitement of moving and decorating I am still struggling with depression. Depression is weird like that. Exciting things can be happening in your life but you still feel anxious and depressed.
I have so many possible reasons for feeling the way I am. Our weather has been so cold and snowy. Seasonal depression is real and affecting many people right now. Also the stress of moving and unpacking could be affecting me right now also. I am a anxious person when things are unorganized and chaotic. I like structure and over the past couple weeks that hasn’t been possible. On top of moving and the chaos my oldest Brayden turned 9. We had a mini birthday party for him on Monday and will be celebrating with our family this weekend.
Regardless of the reason behind my depression its here. I am so thankful for how blessed I am with my family, friends and followers. So thank you for all your likes and comments. For those who don’t follow me on social media, the links to my social media accounts are on the home page. You will see more posts about my life, family and friends. Much love ❤

…We had an angel instead

Hey all! These next two weeks are going to be crazy for me. We are moving and getting packed and unpacked so I may not get to post as much as I want to during this time but I will do my best! Cant wait to show you all my new place! ❤
Today I wanted to post about losing a pregnancy. I know so many people that miscarriage has affected.
 
Pregnancy and loss
Pregnancy is supposed to be a beautiful time in a woman’s life. Unfortunately sometimes life turns your whole world around and puts a hole in your heart forever. A miscarriage is when you lose the pregnancy most commonly during the first trimester or before 15 weeks. Statistically 50% of miscarriages occur because there is an abnormal number of chromosomes.
Sadly 10% of pregnancies end in miscarriage. I mentioned the most common cause being the chromosomal problem. There are many other potential risk factors for a miscarriage. Some other risk factors include:
• Hormonal imbalance: Approximately 15% of all miscarriages are because of imbalanced hormones.
• High fever of 102 or above could cause a miscarriage especially before 6 weeks of pregnancy.
• Uterine problems or fibroids in the uterus can cause problems with the blood supply to the baby or can cause implantation issues.
• Chronic illnesses can cause up to 6% of miscarriages.
• Illnesses such as diabetes, lupus, autoimmune diseases, heart disease, and kidney disease.
• Certain medications
• Maternal age (over 35)
• Drug use, smoking or alcohol use
These are a few risk factors of a miscarriage. So how do we know if we are having a miscarriage. Some of the symptoms include:
• Bleeding (spotting in early pregnancy is normal)
• Nausea and vomiting (also can be common in pregnancy)
• Passing tissue or a clot
• Severe cramps
Sometimes women experience no symptoms especially if very early in the pregnancy. Unfortunately there is no way to stop a miscarriage from happening.
Ectopic pregnancy or tubal pregnancy happens when a fertilized egg attaches somewhere that isn’t your uterus. If this happens you must receive treatment because the Fallopian tube can’t grow a baby. Treatment for an ectopic pregnancy is necessary. Without treatment this could actually kill you. This happens in about 1 in 50 pregnancies. Risk factors of tubal pregnancies include:
• A birth defect or an abnormal growth could affect the tubes shape which could affect the ability for the egg to pass through the tube.
• Scar tissue or previous surgery
• Infection or inflammation of the tube
• Age plays a factor if you are above 35 years old you are at a higher risk
• Endometriosis
• Fertility medication
Symptoms of an ectopic pregnancy
• Stabbing, sharp pain in stomach or pelvis
• Bleeding
• Dizziness or fainting
How do you move on from having a miscarriage or an ectopic pregnancy? There are so many emotions you may experience after a horrible loss. Then your hormones are trying to level back out so you may be all over the place emotionally. You may feel angry, guilty or sad. This is completely normal and is to be expected. During this time it’s so important to rely on your friends, family and loved ones. Don’t be afraid to ask for help or express your feelings. Join a support group or go to counseling to help you work through this emotional experience. Remember that you aren’t alone and your partner will also be grieving that loss. Regardless of how far along you were do something to remember your baby.
When you are ready you can try again. Getting pregnant again doesn’t mean you are replacing the baby you lost. Make sure you talk to your doctor to confirm you are in good health. You need to take care of yourself. Make sure you get enough sleep, eat a healthy diet and exercise.
I had thought about not writing this because I know how hard this can be for someone who has experienced this loss. I am lucky, I haven’t had a miscarriage but I know many women that have. I decided to write this not only to inform others about how common a miscarriage is. Also to let every single person who many read this that you are not alone. While I can’t speak from experience I am here for anyone who needs someone to talk too. I will be the ear you can vent to in complete confidentiality. If you have experienced this loss, please know I am extremely sorry you have had to go through this and know I am here. ❤
 
 

Becoming a better me: Personal development

Personal development is a lifelong process. It’s a journey that improves awareness and identity. Use this to develop your talents and potential. Build human relationships, enhance your life and contribute to the realization of your dreams. What do you aspire to do and to be?

There are five aspects of personal development
1. Spiritual
2. Emotional
3. Mental
4. Social
5. Physical

Personal development skills are an important part of life. It helps you mold yourself into the person you want to become. Personal development helps build your self confidence and self image.

How do we create a personal development plan?
1. Define your goals. What are some goals you want to work towards achieving?
2. Prioritize those goals. Write them down from the most important first.
3. Set a deadline. Give yourself realistic goals. Be ready to update those deadlines because life happens.
4. Learn your strengths. When working on your goals you will realize, you have some areas in your life you may struggle and some are your strong strengths. Use those strengths!
5. Recognize opportunity and threats. There will be people and/or things that cross your path that can either hurt you or help you towards your goals.
6. Develop new skill. Work on something you are not used to doing or have never done! You will find and learn new skills that you might actually really enjoy using on a regular basis.
7. Take action. Don’t wait! Start now!
8. Get support. This is the most important step. You have to have a support system regardless of what you do in your life. Have a support system and be a support system!

For 2019 I have decided I am going to focus on my personal development. There are many aspects in my life that I wasn’t to approve. My main focus areas are my mental and physical development. This is something that I’ll never stop focusing on especially with my goals. I have been working on my mental health for years now but I haven’t been focusing on it like I should. I need to work on taking my medicine regularly and not randomly. Going to counseling on a more regular basis, and taking the time to relax and rest my mind. My mental development includes my antidepressants and mood stabilizer. I have been wanting to and trying to log my moods and feelings. That way when I go to my psychiatrist its easier to show my doctor my log showing what days I had that month. Blogging has also helped me when it comes to my mental health because I can write down my feelings.

When it comes to my physical development I am focusing on my weight loss. There are so many different things you may want to focus on. Physical development allows you to work and focus on any aspect of your health. You could be wanting to focus on your overall health, or you want to gain or lose weight. Maybe you want to focus on your skincare routine or want to workout more to build your muscles. My weight loss has definitely been a journey and can be found on my previous post on “my weight loss struggles and successes”.

Another area I’ve been working on is my emotional development but it’s a very difficult thing to change. I have been working hard to watch on how I react to something. I was known to get angry for next to no reason and I was just a negative person. Now I work on being positive and remain calm when something goes wrong. This in itself has been a journey and will continue to be a part of my journey.

Something that has been put on the back burner for years is my spiritual development. This is something that has been in the back of my mind for years. Growing up I was at church every Sunday with my family. We prayed before meals and I grew up going to a private school with Jesus in our home and in our heart. As I got older I quit going to church and just lived my life without having any faith. Now that I have my boys I want to be in church every Sunday. I want to read the bible more, say our prayers before meals and bed and reconnect with my faith.

Personal development is necessary for growth. Consider making a vision board whether is has all your goals or one specific goal. Being able to see your goals in front of you can help tremendously. Don’t expect results immediately because life happens.

Here are some great tips to help you.
1. Start now- not tomorrow or next week. Start today!
2. Baby steps- like a baby learning to walk, you will fall. We encourage that baby to get up and try again you can get up and get back on track.
3. Learn from others. You can learn from me and I can learn from you. We aren’t perfect but we can learn from each others mistakes and our successes!
4. Embrace the change. Change is a part of life and when working on your personal development plan you will see changes and that is a sign of your success!
5. Be accountable for your actions and words. Just like I am working on my emotional development. I have to hold myself accountable for how I respond to everything.
6. Be grateful and recognize your worth. Be thankful for your journey and remember you are worthy.
7. Be intentional with your goals and your thoughts.
8. Challenge yourself, push yourself to do better and be better. Always!
9. Follow your passion!
10. NEVER GIVE UP!!!!!

Life is not a race, life is a journey. Who cares how fast or slow you go as long as you never give up!!!

 

Disclaimer: I don’t own the rights to this picture. I am not a medical professional. if you are having a medical emergency please contact 911 immediately. This blog is for informational purposes only. If you believe you may have a medical issue contact your local medical provider.

 

Co-parenting is hard

Having to stay in consistent constant contact with an ex can be difficult but we do it for our children. Co-parenting or joint custody is having both parents have an active role in a child’s life. Your child’s mental and emotional well-being could affect how you co-parent. It may seem impossible to put your feelings aside when you get out of a relationship but it is possible. Not only is it possible it is necessary so you can focus on your child’s best interest. There are some situations where co-parenting may not be in the child’s best interest. For example, if a parent has a substance abuse problem it is in the child’s best interest to be active in their life. Once they are sober or at least reach out for professional help then they may be okay to be in their child’s life. Another example is if you left the relationship due to abuse. That is a major reason to not co-parent at least without having the courts involved for everyone’s safety.
It’s important to be consistent between homes. This is where co-parenting for me becomes very difficult. In my home I expect Brayden to do chores, listen to adults, have bedtimes and just be a kid. His safety is my main priority. When Brayden is at his dads house he tends to have no rules. He stays up late on school nights, runs around his dad’s neighborhood with no parental supervision. Then he has also been exposed to adult issues that he shouldn’t have to worry or even know about. It’s a constant struggle because to my almost 9 year old I am the mean parent. I am the one who doesn’t let him watch certain shows on TV or let him run around my neighborhood with no adults.
His father and I can communicate well when his mom isn’t trying to do what she wants with our child. When it comes to co-parenting it should involve the two people who are raising the child. Once you begin having a relationship with someone else that becomes another conversation. When I began dating Dalton, my ex requested that he gets to talk to him about Brayden. I was okay with that because if he ever has another serious relationship I would want that same respect.

So what are the benefits to you child by being able to have both parents get along and co-parent in a healthy way?
1. Your child will feel more secure knowing that even though their parents aren’t together. Mom and dad are always there and love them.
2. Consistency between the homes is so important. Like I said this is something that I completely struggle with. When you have two homes that have the same rules and expectations life tends to be less chaotic.
3. Having that healthy relationship even when things don’t work out is a great learning tool for your child.
4. As I mentioned earlier the emotional and mental health of your child. Having a life where your parents aren’t always arguing and yelling at each other leads to a happier life. You have a less chance of developing depression this way.
How do you know if you have a healthy co-parenting relationship or not? I found a very useful list and pulled some of what I thought was the most important from each category.
Characteristics of a healthy co-parenting relationship
• Supportive
• Flexible
• Respectful
• Fair
• Kind
• Healthy boundaries
• Being respectful about your ex’s new partner
• Being thankful for step parents
• Focus on the child’s well-being
• Being able to have positive communication between the homes

Characteristics of a unhealthy co-parenting relationship
• Trying to ruin your ex’s new relationship
• Anger when communicating
• Breaking promises to your child
• No flexibility
• Uses child to communicate
• Says bad things about your ex to the child
• Threatening court to punish the other
• Making physical threats
• Giving your child personal information about the other parent

Just by this list if you knew my co-parenting relationship you would say that it’s unhealthy. Unfortunately he’s only hurting Brayden. He does things to try and hurt me by calling me names or saying hateful things. I’ve learned he only says those things to me to make himself feel better. Whether we have children by choice or we have our children due to a unexpected miracle. Either way we made the choice to raise our children and have a good relationship with the other parent. Sadly it doesn’t always go that way. So what are some tips to co-parenting?
1. Put your bad feelings to the side. We almost always have some sort of negative feeling when a relationship ends.
2. Don’t put your child in the middle, they didn’t ask for any of this so make it as easy on them as possible.
3. Keep your conversations with you ex strictly about your child.
4. Make important decisions regarding your child together.

Always remember why we do what we do. There are so many ups and downs with co-parenting but if we keep our mind set on the reason we put up with it all it helps get through the bad times.

 

Disclaimer: I don’t own the rights to this picture. i am not a medical professional. if you are having a medical emergency please contact 911 immediately. This blog is for informational purposes only. if you believe you may have a medical issue contact your local medical provider

 

references:
http://www.helpguide.org
http://www.verywellfamily.com