I can’t sleep…

I’ve been dealing with insomnia for many years now. Insomnia is a sleep disorder which causes you to have problems falling and staying asleep. Insomnia has at least one of the following symptoms. Whether it be difficulty falling asleep, waking up often during the night with trouble falling back asleep. Anxiety, stress and depression can cause chronic insomnia. In return insomnia can make those issues worse. This sleeping disorder can also cause other emotional issues such as anger, worry, grief, bipolar disorder or trauma. There are over 3 million cases of people who have this sleeping disorder.
Like I said I have struggled with insomnia for years. I was even taking Ambien at one point but it was becoming a nightly thing and my body got used to the medication. I have tried many different things to help me sleep including essential oils to ASMR. My insomnia tends to come and go. I have never paid attention to the cycle whether it matches with my depression flare ups but I will pay attention now.
Insomnia can be caused by mental or physical conditions. It can also be caused by unhealthy sleep patterns, certain substances or biological factors. Some of those medical conditions include:
• Nasal and sinus allergies
• Gastrointestinal problems
• Hyperthyroidism
• Arthritis
• Asthma
• Neurological conditions
• Chronic pain
• Low back pain
These medical issues can also cause your sleep problems. Learning if your medications cause problems with sleep like some of mine. I have to take them in the morning so they have all day to keep me awake so I can try to get some sleep. I know when I was working overnights sleeping during the day was hard. Especially when I would get off and try to wind down as everyone was getting up for the day. Using your cell phones can also affect your sleep. There will be times when I lay in bed playing on my phone and then 2 hours go by and I’m still not asleep. Taking naps can be great to help you get some energy to get through the day but it makes it harder to go to sleep.
Sleep is an essential part of life. If you are having trouble sleeping and have looked into certain aspects of your life that could affect your sleep without any luck. Then talking to your doctor would be the next step because sleep is important.
Recommended hours of sleep needed:
Newborn (0-3 months) 14-17 hours a day
Infant (4-11 months) 12-15 hours a day
Toddler (1-2 years) 11-14 hours a day
Preschool (3-5 years) 10-13 hours a day
School age (6-13 years) 9-11 hours a day
Teenager (14-17 years) 8-10 hours a day
Adult (18-64 years) 7-9 hours a day
Over 65 7-8 hours a day
Lets be honest I want to sleep like an infant again!<3
Disclaimer: I don’t own the rights to this picture. I am not a medical professional. If you are having a medical emergency contact 911 immediately. This blog is for informational purposes only. If you believe you may have a medical issue contact your local medical provider.
References: http://www.helpguide.org


Accept yourself…no matter what

Self-acceptance is a person’s happiness with ones self. This can be good for your mental health. Self-acceptance involves self understanding and a realistic awareness of your strengths and weaknesses. Learning to accept yourself is necessary because when you don’t it can affect many aspects of your life. Not only will it affect the way you treat yourself, but also the way others will treat you. It will also affect you mentally and can cause you to have depression or anxiety. Trust me I know what it is like to not accept yourself and for it to cause problems with your mental health.
I struggle every day to accept and love myself. I am constantly criticizing myself for things I did or didn’t do. I struggle with my appearance. I always wonder what I should be doing to improve them. Then I am laying in bed and night wondering why I am not strong enough to follow through. It’s a vicious cycle. There are some pretty simple things you can do to help with your self acceptance. It’s things that I have done in my life and if
I can do them so can you.
1. Journal every day. I do this by blogging. I may not have hundreds of thousands of followers but if I have managed to help even one person by posting. Then I will still continue to write. This is my story, ❤
2. Remove toxic people from your life. Over the years I’ve had many friends come and go. I have learned within the past year or so who my true friends are and who the ones who were in my life to cause me problems. I cherish those true friendships.
3. Follow your heart. I am pretty good at ignoring my brain and following my heart. This has caused me problems in the past but I am thankful for those mistakes and learning from them.
4. Forgive yourself. You have to forgive yourself for the mistakes that you have made in the past. Learn from them and leave them in the past. You keep walking forward and don’t worry about those past mistakes.
5. Show love and kindness to others. Not everyone you meet will like you or get along with. Even if they aren’t your biggest fan you can still be kind to everyone you meet. Its not hard to smile at someone or hold the door open at the store. It doesn’t cost anything to be a good person.
“Life is too short to spend it at war with yourself.”
Everyday I look at myself in the mirror and hate the way I look. I am my biggest critic. I judge myself from head to toe. I stare at the bags under my eyes. I look at my stretch marks and my chunky belly, the cellulite on my thighs or even the 3 little hairs I shave off of my big toe. Why though? God made me this way. Sure I haven’t taken care of myself the way I should but I have also grown two little humans inside of me. So why am I so hard on myself?
I am hard on myself because I see people in public or on the internet who are fit and healthy and then there is me. There are all these fad diets and nothing has worked for me. I am so hard on myself because I give up too easily. If I don’t see the results that I want when I should have them then I quit. Do I like who I am? Do I like the person I have become over the years? That is a difficult question. I have made my fair share of mistakes over the years. But I do consider myself a good person. Do I wish I could go back to say high school and do things differently? Absolutely but without time travel that’s not going to happen. So I work on myself every single day to be a better version of who I am. I was always told that no one would love me until I learned to love myself. Until I met Dalton I believed that to be true. Once I felt the love Dalton had for me it rubbed off on me and I learned to love myself a little more than I had before.
“Forgive yourself for not knowing what you didn’t know before you learned it.”
We all need to learn to love ourselves and accept ourselves. Of course we can always improve ourselves and we will have times where we fall. Learning to be kind to yourself is important. Treat yourself the way you would want someone else to treat you. We are all our own biggest critics and our own worst enemy. We all have flaws so embrace them no matter what.
Stay positive. If you surround yourself around negative people it will rub off on you. You will become a negative person. Surround yourself with positive people and happy things. Work on being positive every single day. Find the positive even in a negative situation.
Forgive others, forgive yourself. Holding onto grudges will only make you bitter. It’s best to forgive someone who may have offended you. You would want someone to forgive you. Learning to forgive yourself is difficult. We have to learn to let go of those mistakes and move forward.
You are going to do great things in your life. Will you fail? Yes failing is a part of life but we are able to pick ourselves up and begin again. No matter what NEVER GIVE UP. Keep pushing forward and working on being who you want to be!
Just be yourself. Let people see the real, imperfect, flawed, quirky, weird, beautiful, magical person that you are.”- Mandy Hale

Spring and Summer bucket list 2019

I am thinking of warmer and sunny days. This has been the longest winter ever! I am ready to spend time outside with my boys and enjoy the warm weather. I am ready to be out on the lake and make memories with my kids! I am so excited for this spring and summer with having so much land we can play on and so many things that I want to do. So here is a list of some of the things that I want to do with the warmer weather!

• Start a garden! I have never had my own garden but I want to learn.
• Make bird feeders and houses. I want to hang bird feeders for the boys. I remember growing up my grandparents made bird houses and we got to decorate them! We used them as piggy banks but I would love to make some and hang them up in our trees!
• Let’s fly a kite! The boys would love to be able to fly a kite and I haven’t done it in years.
• Sit outside with the sun shining and read a good book. I used to love to read and haven’t had as much time with the boys.
• Have a game night!
• Who can’t bake? I am a terrible baker but I am determined to learn to bake from scratch!
• I want to have a picnic even in the yard with the boys!
• Go fishing! We have a pond that we can fish at so we will have plenty of opportunity
• Take the boys to the zoo
• Go horseback riding for the first time!
• Take a painting class
• Take the boys to the art museum
• Plant flowers! I love daisy’s and sunflowers and would love to plant some outside of my house.
• Stargaze! Now that I live in the country I will be able to just look up and see all the stars without all the city lights.
• Have a water balloon fight with the kids!
• Play in the rain!

What does your bucket list look like? Thinking of warmer days! Come on spring! ❤

Cooking…one of my many passions

I love to cook and try new recipes. I can be pretty picky but I thought it would be fun to share some of my favorite recipes. Who doesn’t love tacos? What about spaghetti? One of my families favorites is taco spaghetti. It’s a recipe I found on Pinterest years ago and we make it a couple times a month. Another family favorite is crock pot chicken and noodles, chicken tacos, or making a big pot of chili! Below are the recipes for some of my favorites!
Taco Spaghetti
5 oz. dried spaghetti, broken
1 lb. ground beef (or turkey)
1 large onion, chopped
3/4 cup water
2 tbsp. taco seasoning mix
11 oz. can whole kernel corn with peppers, drained
1 cup sliced pitted black olives
1 cup colby jack or cheddar, shredded
1/2 cup salsa
4 oz. can diced green chili peppers, drained
shredded lettuce
tortilla chips
sour cream, optional

1. Cook pasta according to package directions. Drain. Preheat oven to 350F.
2. In a 12-inch skillet, cook beef and onion until meat is brown. Drain fat. Stir in water and taco seasoning. Bring to a boil; reduce heat. Simmer uncovered for 2 minutes, stirring occasionally. Stir in cooked pasta, corn, olives, half of the cheese, salsa, and green chili peppers.
3. Transfer mixture to lightly greased 2-quart round casserole. Cover with aluminum foil and bake for 15 to 20 minutes until heated through. Sprinkle with remaining cheese and bake until melted.
4. Serve with shredded lettuce, tortilla chips, tomatoes, and sour cream, if desired.

Chicken and Noodles
4 boneless skinless chicken breast (I use frozen)
2 cans cream of chicken soup
1 stick butter
30 oz chicken broth
24 oz frozen egg noodles
Cook chicken, soup, butter and broth in crock pot on low for 6-7 hours.
Take chicken out and shred
Put chicken back in; add noodles and cook on low for 2 hours.
Stir a few times while cooking
Serve over mashed potatoes

What are some of your favorite recipes? Post them below in the comments! ❤

Love languages….which one are you?

Learning how we accept and express love is so important whether you are single, in a relationship or married. Most people have heard of the book “5 love languages” by Dr. Gary Chapman. This is where I first learned about love languages. There are 5 different love languages that you can fit your personality. Those 5 love languages are: receiving gifts, quality time, words of affirmation, acts of service or physical touch. I didn’t know my love language for a long time but with doing research and reading his book I have learned how I love and how I accept love from others.
Receiving gifts- This could be one the easiest love languages to learn. Receiving a gift is something that you could hold and look at and know that your loved one is thinking of you. A gift is a symbol of that love.
Quality time- This can be a little more difficult especially depending on your schedules, kids and many other factors in your life. Quality time means turning off the TV, your phones and any other distractions. Sit down face-to-face and having your attention strictly on your loved one.
Words of affirmation- Someone who’s love language is words includes verbal compliments or appreciation. This love language is something very simple that can be done throughout the day.
Acts of service- This includes doing a task or something your loved one would have otherwise done yourself. Actions speak louder than words.
Physical touch- this love language includes holding hands, hugging, kissing or sexual intercourse. Someone may feel unloved without this. This love language can be hard. Especially if you are someone who likes and craves that physical touch.
I have broke down which love language I am or am not. I am probably the farthest away
from the love language physical touch. I am not someone who is a touchy person. I grew up in a family that didn’t use physical touch as a way of affection. I am also not someone who looks to words to make me feel loved. I actually don’t take compliments well because of the way I look at myself. I am also not good at quality time. A lot of that has to do with my mind is always going 100 mph and always find things that need to be done around the house. I am not good at just sitting down and talking.
My love language is definitely acts of service. The best way for me to receive love is having something done for me that I otherwise was going to do myself. So being surprised by the everyday things being done is what makes me the happiest. It could be something as small as taking out the trash or cooking dinner. It doesn’t take much to make me feel loved. My second love language would be receiving gifts. Who doesn’t love getting a gift. It could be something as small as picking wild flowers or receiving a heartfelt card. I don’t need or expect my loved one to spoil me with gifts. It’s the little things in life that make me feel loved and happy.
When it comes to Dalton’s love language, in my opinion, is physical touch. He is someone who loves to hold hands, be kissed or hugged. This is something that has always been difficult for me to do as a way to express my love for him. I am someone who only likes to be touched when I want to be touched. This has been a struggle for me because I want to be able to speak his love language. So I do my best. But its something that I have to remind daily that it’s the way he accepts love.
What is your love language? What about your loved one? Do you speak his or her love language? Being with someone you love is about commitment and sacrifices so even if you don’t speak the same love language doesn’t mean that you can’t. I don’t speak the same love language as Dalton but I try and will continue to try for him. ❤
Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to this picture. I am not a medical professional if you are having a medical emergency please contact 911 immediately. Disclaimer: I don’t own the rights to this picture. I am not a medical professional. If you are having a medical emergency contact 911 immediately. This blog is for informational purposes only. If you believe you may have a medical issue contact your local medical provider.

Social Media VS Mental Health

What was life without internet? I remember not having internet until I was in 3rd or 4th grade. Then we had a dial up internet where we couldn’t use the landline when we used the internet. We didn’t have Facebook but had Myspace and instead of texting we had instant messenger. Life was easier without constant access to the internet. We didn’t have to deal with everything being on the web for everyone to see. We also didn’t have cyber bullying like we do today.
I am not afraid to admit that I am addicted to social media. I spend way to much time on the internet. Social media apps like Facebook were made to hold your attention as long as possible. It does a good job of doing that. It also gives anyone the ability to comment on your life and unfortunately bully you. Social media also gives people the ability to talk to anyone, even people they may not know. This could be a good way to make new friends. You may also encounter some not so good people. Which can be scary especially with the kids we have on the internet today.

People often use social media to help with the feeling of loneliness. It’s shown that those who are lonely in normal life a lot of time seek attention from someone online. This makes you feel not so lonely for a little bit. It doesn’t replace the important face-to-face relationships. Today people tend to use texting, email and social media to communicate instead of being face-to-face. I admit to doing this especially when my anxiety is bothering me.

The constant use of social media can affect your mental health. It seems that everything a competition. Everything is about who can get the most likes or comments. This alone can affect your mental health. There has been many studies that show the link between prolonged cell phone and social media use. Studies show the link between social media and anxiety. You may also experience depression, eating problems, insomnia, and increased risk of suicide. This is caused by bullying or the jealousy of not getting the “likes” or seeing something negative that affects your mood.

There can be positive things with the use of the internet. You can use it for good to talk about your mental health. You can use it to contact family that may live across the country. You are able to share photos with family and friends for those who aren’t able to be around. We need to learn to limit our time spent online and spend more time with our loved ones face-to-face.

You may not even realize what social media is doing to your mental health. It can affect your self-esteem and its 100% has affected mine. I see all these women who are in shape and seem to live these “picture perfect” lives with their loved ones. But in reality their lives aren’t perfect. Everyone makes their lives seem better online then it truly is but we do have our ups and downs.

Having Facebook, Instagram or any other social media can pop up with memories. Sometimes these memories are great. I love seeing old photos and memories of my kids or friends. Then there are some painful memories that come up. Whether it is from previous relationships or any other times that I may have experienced over the years.
One of the most important things in life is human connection. Social media takes away that human connection when we are always starting at our phones or computers. It also disrupts our sleep. We lay in bed scrolling through our phones. This keeps our brains awake and unable to relax to fall asleep. We wake up a lot of people grab their phones and once again start scrolling through their social media. We are so worried about what we have missed while they were asleep.

My goal for this month is to not use my private Facebook page as much as I do. I will still continue to write but wont be on my personal page as often as I am currently. I want to focus more on those around me than these on my social media pages. ❤




Disclaimer: I don’t own the rights to this picture. I am not a medical professional. If you are having a medical emergency contact 911 immediately. This blog is for informational purposes only. If you believe you may have a medical issue contact your local medical provider.
reference: http://www.unicef.org

Random facts about me..

As I was brainstorming for what I was going to write about this month I realized that I haven’t told you much about me. So I figured I would take the time to tell you some random things about me and my life.
  •  I moved to Missouri in 1996
  •  I have 10 siblings which include 2 younger sisters, 2 younger brothers. I have a older half sister and half brother. I also have 3 step sisters and a step brother.
  •  My stepdad was killed in August 2014 in a motorcycle accident in Iowa.
  •  I didn’t know about my half sister until I was 15 years old and have only met her once.
  •  I only have met my step sister and brother once and that was at my stepdads funeral.
  •  My first car was a blue Oldsmobile
  •  I began dancing when I was 3 years old up till I was 14 and I regret ever quitting.
  •  I had the opportunity to dance at the half time show of the Orange Bowl in 1998-1999
  •  My favorite TV shows include One Tree Hill, Grey’s Anatomy and General Hospital
  •  I have a guilty pleasure for reality TV and chocolate
  •  Love country music
  •  I have never mowed grass
  •  I hate asking people for help no matter how small of a request it may be.
  •  I am very OCD which drives Dalton crazy
  •  I love to color, I use it as a relaxation technique
  •  I enjoy puzzle games. Candy crush is my favorite
  •  I recently began reading more self improvement books “Girl, wash your face” was AMAZING
  •  I love Snapchat filters
  •  I like my sleep and hate to be woken up! Like that’s possible with kids!
  •  My favorite color is purple
  •  My favorite number is 15
  •  I always dreamed of having 2 boys then a little girl. (Maybe it will happen one day)
  •  I want to build my own home with a big wrap around porch
  •  I have wanted to be a mom for as long as I can remember.
  •  I didn’t shoot a gun until I was 25 years old
  •  I’ve been out of the country once for 10 days in high school.
  •  My birthday is July 16th
  •  I refuse to wear matching socks
  •  My biggest pet peeves are being late and not being organized
  •  I have 2 tattoos and have about 7 more that I want!
  •  I don’t like coffee
  •  I love to camp…in a camper, not in a tent
  •  My eyes are hazel but depending on my mood change colors
  •  I went to college for medical assisting
  •  I can be very shy around people I don’t know
  •  I went to catholic school my entire school career

Self-harm awareness day

Self injury awareness day (SIAD) is an international event that brings awareness to those who self-harm across the globe. SIAD launched in 2002. This campaign may only be one day but they work on bringing awareness all year long. When we understand the reason behind why people self-harm. We can help them or at least be there for someone who feels like they are all alone. To acknowledge self-harm awareness day you may see someone wearing an orange ribbon. They also may write “love” on their arms or draw a butterfly on their wrist. The goal of SIAD is to breakdown the common stereotypes that surround self-harm.
Those who self-harm usually also suffer from a mental illness. Self-harm is not considered a mental illness. There are two million Americans that self-harm. The most common form of self-harming is cutting. Someone may also burn themselves, or pull hair out. The wounds from self-harming may scar and never go away. While self-harm is hurting yourself on purpose it is not a suicide attempt. It is a sign of emotional distress. They may experience guilt and shame after hurting themselves. Self-harm is usually starts with the overwhelming pain, anger or frustration. This will only get worse the more you self-harm. People who self-harm stimulates your endorphins. So harming yourself is like a release from the pain.
Seeking help can help you mentally to where you won’t want to hurt yourself anymore. Someone who self-harms may be more likely to attempt suicide. If you know someone who self-harms talk to them. Ask them how they are doing or if they want to talk. Encourage them to seek help because most are unable to stop harming themselves on their own. Tell them there is nothing wrong with seeking help because we all need help from time to time. ❤
Disclaimer: I don’t own the rights to this picture. I am not a medical professional. If you are having a medical emergency contact 911 immediately. This blog is for informational purposes only. If you believe you may have a medical issue contact your local medical provider.