Never thought this would be me…

I never thought I would experience something so painful not just physically but emotionally. It breaks my heart just to say it but I AM that 1 in 4. I lost my baby at 6 weeks and 3 days. It was early but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt. Honestly I have just been at a loss for words. When they told me “the tests prove that you are having a miscarriage” was a straight stab into my heart. It was something that I never thought would happen to me. I have seen many of my friends go through it and I would always give them my condolences and let them know I am here if they needed anything but when I hear those words now it is nice but it honestly doesn’t do much for me. Honestly not much anyone can say or do that will help me right now. I went to counseling today and talked about what happened which has helped me but at the same time doing what I need to do. I have been doing anything I can to keep my mind busy. Once I let my mind go is when I get emotional. He said that I need to just let myself go, have someone keep my kids for a few days, don’t worry about cleaning house, cooking or taking care of kids just rest and let myself feel what I am feeling. I know he is right because right now I’ve been trying to keep myself busy and not feel my loss and I think I am beginning to overdo myself because I am very sore and exhausted. Hopefully this weekend I can have someone keep my boys and I can do what I need to do. I just wanted to update everyone on what has been going on this past few days. Love y’all.

2 thoughts on “Never thought this would be me…

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