When you are dealing with anxiety and/or depression things can be difficult enough. When you have a significant other who has never dealt with it thankfully, it tends to make things even more difficult. They usually aren’t sure what to do or how to handle our anxiety and depression episodes at least my husband wasn’t. It wasn’t his fault though, he was trying. He tried to help by getting me to open up and talk. Like I had said in a previous post during the first two years of our relationship I was not taking my medications. I didn’t open up and talk about anything. I was not in a good place mentally. I felt like I was tearing our family apart. I put every negative aspect from our relationship onto myself. Even though I would blame him during our arguments.
It never helped when I would hear things like “there are others way worse off than you”. “Your moods bring everyone around you down”, and “no one said life was fair”. These comments have been engraved into my brain because they have been said by people who so called “loved me”. Trust me I completely understand there are people out there who have it worse off, I do read and watch the news. I know life isn’t fair if it was l would struggle the way I do.
For anyone who may read this that is in a relationship currently or in the future with someone with depression please be patient. When your significant other is having a hard time give them some encouraging words. “You are not alone; I’ll always be here even if I don’t understand what you are going through” “I am not going to leave you”, “You are not crazy”. Because let’s face it I thought I was going crazy. There were days where I felt like the world’s worst mom, girlfriend/wife because I couldn’t even get out of bed. I wouldn’t shower, I wouldn’t cook or eat, and I would call into work and just sleep. On the days I did manage to get out of bed and managed to get to work I was a zombie, before Id make it there I’d cry, I’d yell and throw things. It was a rough couple years with my ups and downs.
I talked about what a significant other without depression could do to help their partner. Now what could the one with depression do to help their partner understand depression? If you have a hard time talking about your depression like I did try to sit down and write a letter about how you are feeling. Another option would be for your significant other to go to the doctor with you a few times to hear what your doctor has to say. There are also some books, look on Amazon that can help you understand living with someone with depression. We can never learn too much about this very important topic!
Depression is not something that will just go away overnight. It takes time to get better. You may wake up feeling better than you did the day before but remember; this is a journey. We are going up a very steep mountain we need to take our time when it comes to our mental health.
Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to this picture. I am not a medical professional, if you are having a medical emergency please contact 911 immediately. This post is for informational purposes only. If you believe you have a medical issue contact your local medical provider.