I never thought I would experience something so painful not just physically but emotionally. It breaks my heart just to say it but I AM that 1 in 4. I lost my baby at 6 weeks and 3 days. It was early but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt. Honestly I have just been at a loss for words. When they told me “the tests prove that you are having a miscarriage” was a straight stab into my heart. It was something that I never thought would happen to me. I have seen many of my friends go through it and I would always give them my condolences and let them know I am here if they needed anything but when I hear those words now it is nice but it honestly doesn’t do much for me. Honestly not much anyone can say or do that will help me right now. I went to counseling today and talked about what happened which has helped me but at the same time doing what I need to do. I have been doing anything I can to keep my mind busy. Once I let my mind go is when I get emotional. He said that I need to just let myself go, have someone keep my kids for a few days, don’t worry about cleaning house, cooking or taking care of kids just rest and let myself feel what I am feeling. I know he is right because right now I’ve been trying to keep myself busy and not feel my loss and I think I am beginning to overdo myself because I am very sore and exhausted. Hopefully this weekend I can have someone keep my boys and I can do what I need to do. I just wanted to update everyone on what has been going on this past few days. Love y’all.
Hi all! It’s been awhile since I have posted so I just wanted to give you all an update on my life. As most of you know we moved back in February. Other than that we have just been getting settled and of course decorating! I am currently planting flowers and doing some landscaping. I actually made the decision to go back to school and just started my first set of classes this week. It was a huge step for me and something I had been considering for quite a while and decided to go for it! Other than that things have been going pretty good. I have been going to counseling once a week which has been great for me and I actually enjoy going. I am hoping to be able to post more often once I get a schedule down with my school. I look forward to writing again and bringing awareness to those topics that are important to me.
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I am thinking of warmer and sunny days. This has been the longest winter ever! I am ready to spend time outside with my boys and enjoy the warm weather. I am ready to be out on the lake and make memories with my kids! I am so excited for this spring and summer with having so much land we can play on and so many things that I want to do. So here is a list of some of the things that I want to do with the warmer weather!
• Start a garden! I have never had my own garden but I want to learn.
• Make bird feeders and houses. I want to hang bird feeders for the boys. I remember growing up my grandparents made bird houses and we got to decorate them! We used them as piggy banks but I would love to make some and hang them up in our trees!
• Let’s fly a kite! The boys would love to be able to fly a kite and I haven’t done it in years.
• Sit outside with the sun shining and read a good book. I used to love to read and haven’t had as much time with the boys.
• Have a game night!
• Who can’t bake? I am a terrible baker but I am determined to learn to bake from scratch!
• I want to have a picnic even in the yard with the boys!
• Go fishing! We have a pond that we can fish at so we will have plenty of opportunity
• Take the boys to the zoo
• Go horseback riding for the first time!
• Take a painting class
• Take the boys to the art museum
• Plant flowers! I love daisy’s and sunflowers and would love to plant some outside of my house.
• Stargaze! Now that I live in the country I will be able to just look up and see all the stars without all the city lights.
• Have a water balloon fight with the kids!
• Play in the rain!
What does your bucket list look like? Thinking of warmer days! Come on spring! ❤